Missing! Favorite duck head walking stick
Hey all,
Gee, ya know the dangest thing just happened to me today. I have seemed to have misplaced my walking stick and would really enjoy having it back in my possession. It’s nothing crazy expensive, and definitely not worth pawning or fencing so don't worry about that. Heck, it’s just got a lot of sentimental value to me. Here’s a picture of it:
This is a picture of my duck head walking stick
Ya see - yeah, I’m gonna tell the backstory of how this walking stick came into my possession - when I was into my first term of my Mayoral career, I stopped by a flea market up near Murphin for a Saturday morning peruse in search of exotic wares. Well, next to the tiger rugs and flea market, knife and sword stand was a tent draped with purple and black cloth. It was the kind of tent that one usually sees in very stylized carnival flicks. The flaps were open giving off that “I dare you enter and bear witness to my dreadful delights” and included an impressive low rolling mist which poured out like a welcome mat. I remember feeling a sense of disassociating as I peered inside, my eyes trying to penetrate the sooty blackness of the interior. I felt myself move closer until I was able to make out an orb of slight-light, which seemed to fold the smoky darkness around it. And then I felt a voice say:
“Enter and know. Know and rule. Rule and avail. For all of time.”
Well, it seemed that my subconscious’ interests were peaked by the inky, etherial, sales pitch because I was on my way inside. My hand gripped the tent's doorway as the dim orb pulsed with the temptation of its mysteries. I know that promises of power are usually in themselves a bad omen, but another part of my brain that housed the unhinged curiosity sided with my subconscious. Having heard all they needed to hear, I was on my way inside to sign whatever demonic stationery needed to learn more. I lowered my head and stepped inside. I remember the air smelling of ozone. There was a feeling of being elsewhere while also one of the orb beckoning me to come closer. Once I was not-quite-but-close to fully inside, a bright image struck the side of my head. Something that my peripherals caught as I crossed the threshold. It was like a delayed reaction that broke through the hypnotic black and sub-light orb, and I snapped back together, took a step backwards, and leaned back out of the tent.
Next to the tent (opposite of the flea market stand) was a white folding table littered with old baking pans, crusty vases, a yellowed-with-age plastic popcorn maker and other such garage sale finds. But also, right there, peeking out from the pile just for me to see was a smooth, wooden duck. I backed up into the sunlight excited by a once in a lifetime exotic find. And there it was. Tucked away amongst the clutter was a walking stick with a smooth wooden duck head on top. It was incredible. I asked how much, knowing I was ready to pay its weight in gold. The vendor informed me it was 15 dollars. Gee-wiz, I could barely contain myself. What a deal. The vendor didn’t seem to understand just what they had, so I enthusiastically handed them a twenty dollar bill and told them to keep the change. The exchange filled each of us with grateful excitement. I took my new duck-headed walking stick and decided to walk it back to my car to head to the wooded trails of Cognac Helmet to let us get acquainted.
Okay. There will be an award of one's choosing to whomever brings me my Smooth Duck headed walking stick.
$100 dollars cash from my hand to yours.
A month's free lunch from the Saint Harriet’s Memorial Hospital cafeteria (Don’t choose this one. They keep their taquitos in a hotel pan. Come on, Saint Harriet, you know you gotta keep them things rolling.)
4 free go-kart rides at Thrashers Adventure Complex. Now this one comes with the stipulation of me having to be there for each of the four rides. This is not a requirement of Thrasher’s Adventure Complex, it’s a requirement of mine. Boy, I just think go-karts are great and I hope you do, too.
Thanks so much for your time and help.
- Mayor Samuel Jukes